Writing a Query: Rejection

Poor Mr. Darcy proposed and had his heart thrust back at 

him on a silver platter. The beauty of the story is that he 

learns from this rejection and becomes a better man. 

Ah! Life lessons from Darcy!

Here's the thing I've learned about rejection. It isn't personal. It can't be, because these agents and editors don't know you. Not really.

They're looking through hundreds (probably more) of queries a week for something that speaks to them. Something they can get behind and cheer for with every ounce of their being.

And something they can sell. Our stories are precious and beautiful, but they are also a product, one that has to be marketable and (despite our artistic integrity) economically viable.

This is a tough lesson to learn for us creative types. I went to Lloyd Dobler for help. Thank you, John Hughes.

So there it is. Rejection isn't personal.

It feels personal.

But it isn't.

And often, you can learn from it and become better.

LOVE AND OTHER UNKNOWN VARIABLES, which Entangled Publishing will be releasing in October, 2014, is not the story I thought it was. Way back in 2011, I got a rejection from a marvelous agent that changed me and my story forever.

She said she loved my voice, but there wasn't enough at stake for my main character. And she was right. Of course she was. It was her job to know.

What I didn't know is that I was holding myself back from telling the story I wanted (needed) to tell because my grief from losing a friend to cancer was too raw. I was afraid of what I wanted to say. Her rejection allowed me to step back and reconsider why I was writing.

Was it to sell a story?

No.

It was to tell a story. My story. Charlie's story. And Charlotte's. And Becca's. Our story.

Without that kind, gracious, honest rejection, I may not have started over, and I wouldn't be where I am right now.