Smooth Gifts to Give

The gauntlet has been thrown.

I’ve been challenged by a friend to write a blog about the gift I received at our recent neighborhood Girls’ Night Christmas Party with a little Chanukah on the side. Let me begin, by thanking our lovely hostess who probably spent way too much time cleaning her house before allowing us in to wreck it. Her couch was immaculate. Even had the little vacuum lines still visible from the marathon cleaning session. But I get it, I certainly do, and if my couch showed those little vacuum lines, I’d have done it too. Note to all perfectionists: microfiber is not your friend. So, thank you most wonderful of hostesses. Your party was a perfect success.

We were instructed to bring a goofy gift (with a small price tag) to use for the gift exchange. I need to interject that apparently, some of the ladies in my neighborhood don’t know what “goofy” means (or “cheap”) because many of the gifts being unwrapped were very lovely and completely worthy of re-gifting. I don’t know what it’s called, but we played the game where you get to rip off someone else’s gift if you like it. My gifts got stolen a lot. I like to think it is because I’m a good saleswoman and I can make a fat pack of batteries look seriously enticing. The lovely nightgown (who brought that anyway?), well, it sold itself. But, the Smooth Away? No, I was keeping that. I was done with thieves stealing my Christmas joy. That doozy of a gift I was walking out the door with.

So, I’m home with my Smooth Away (yes, as seen on TV, jealous?) and reading the instructions. My sister is laughing now because I just admitted to reading the directions for Smooth Away, like I’m not smart enough to figure out how to sand off my unwanted hair and skin (because it exfoliates too, jealous?). But, Beth, when I opened the travel case (yes, it comes with a travel case, jealous?) there was this piece of paper with a BIG stop sign on it that said I had to read the directions before use. I’m not talking about a little stop sign. I’m talking life-sized stop sign. So, I got a little nervous and thought, maybe I don’t know how to sand off my own hair and skin. And what I discovered when I read the instructions is that all those Smooth Away haters that say it doesn’t work, thought they knew how to shave off their own hair and skin too, but they were wrong. There are very explicit directions for using this most amazing product. And when you follow the directions you get results. I’m not saying what kind of results, but results. Bet those ladies from the party are wishing they hadn’t stolen my first two gifts now because I’m not sharing the secret to the Smooth Away with anyone. That gem stays with me.

But the friend that challenged me to this blog should have known I’d use a sleight of language to make this all work to my benefit. I said I’d write about the gift I received at the party. I also promised I’d write about the Smooth Away. That part is done. Here’s the little piece of magic, so watch closely. Smooth Away will make me laugh every time I pull it out to depilate in the carpool line (travel case begs to travel), but my gift from that evening; my gift was laughter and LOTS of it. We laughed with each other and ourselves. It was the best gift and just what I wanted.

Thanks, ladies. Ha, ha, happy holidays!