Holding on to chance

Photo by Shannon Pifko

Serendipity |ˌserənˈdipitē|

noun

the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way : a fortunate stroke of serendipity | a series of small serendipities.

DERIVATIVES

serendipitous |-ˈdipitəs| adjective

serendipitously adverb

ORIGIN 1754: coined by Horace Walpole, suggested by The Three Princes of Serendip, the title of a fairy tale in which the heroes “were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of.”

Why the vocabulary lesson?  I've got a thing or two to say about serendipity.  

Firstly, I was disappointed in the John Cusack movie thusly titled.  It was not worth my time and quite frankly, infuriated the crap out of me.  Who finds her soul mate and then disappears, leaving it up to chance to bring them back together?  Hasn't fate done enough already?  Don't you think you're being a tad lazy?  Maddening.

Secondly, I love serendipity when it falls in my own lap.  Just the idea of it, that there are things in this life that are serendipitous (such a fun word to type), these incongruous things that fit together so perfectly in such a happy way, seems proof that there is more to this life than meets the eye.  

You're thinking to yourself, Self, I could really use a great cup of coffee, and suddenly a friend says, 

"Hey, I've got this coupon for free coffee that expires today, do you want it?"

Look how happy I am with
my coffee.  It is 4:30am and
I'm about to walk 60 miles
but, man, I look happy!

And you say, "Hell yeah!"  

Then you notice the time and think, The coffee shop isn't on my way to where I'm going.  I guess I won't make it either.  But, on your way to where you're going there is this enormous water pipe leakage and there's water gushing all over the road.  Men in orange vests and flags are telling you to turn left where you thought you were going right.  

Before you realize it, you're driving past the coffee place and glance at the clock and, Oh. My. God.  There is time!  

So, you get your free coffee and make it to where you're going with plenty of time.  As an added bonus, you now know a short-cut to your kid's school that goes right past an establishment that sells your favorite drug - coffee.

That is a good day.  Serendipitous, actually.  The kind of day that makes you feel like you've just been given the world to hold in your palm.  

But serendipity has a darker side, too, because sometimes seemingly dissimilar things fit together perfectly in a not so happy way.  And according to the definition, this can't be serendipity, but it feels like a close cousin because it reminds us that we are not holding all the strings attached to this life.  Not all the time.  Not like we'd like to believe.

I recently sent a fundraising letter to friends and family telling them I'd once again be asking for their help for the 2011, Washington, DC Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure.

The letter went a little like this:

So why do I keep coming after your money? Because each time I look at my daughter, or begin to think what my life might look like without my sister in it, or the devastation I’d feel if I sat idly by while cancer took away another loved one, I know my work isn’t finished. And I know I need your help.

I hit "send" and watched as the letter with my pleas for assistance was sent off into the cyber universe.   Even though I told myself it was silly, I couldn't help feeling slightly bad for asking everyone for more of their time and money.  Hadn't they helped enough?  Hadn't we all done enough?

That's when serendipity's angry cousin showed up to give me a swift kick in the rear.

Within a week of sending the letter, I had suddenly heard from a half dozen friends about recent losses they were enduring due to cancer.  Brain cancer, liver cancer, breast cancer, bone cancer, even long-time survivors re-arming themselves to fight another round.  I needed no more reminding about why I participate year after year.  It was very clear we have not done enough yet.

How can an ugly jolt like that be related to lovely serendipity?

Coincidences don't suddenly line up in neat little rows ready to make us happy.  All the pieces that make up a coincidence, luck, chance, whatever you want to call it, are around you everyday.  You just don't notice them.  Serendipity just shines a light on them to make them all sparkly and oh-isn't-that-just-wonderful.  But, they were always there.

We just needed the light.

Poor serendipity's cousin has the hateful job of shining the light on the not-so-very-wonderful things.

In the end, sometimes we need to see the dim side of things to be reminded to take action.   To be reminded we can take the not-so-very-wonderful things and make them, well, maybe not sparkly and oh-isn't-that-just-wonderful, but bearable.  Proving that while we do not hold all the strings attached, we can at least offer up a good tug-of-war against complacency.

Lastly, I think serendipity is remarkable for the simple reason that its origin lies in a Fairy Tale and fairy tales always end with . . .

And they lived happily ever after.

Knowing that gives me the strength to keep holding onto whatever strings I've been given.

Photo by Amber S. Wallace Photography of
North Carolina