Losing Control
 |
| Photo by ~lucianotb |
Things I Have
The incessant wanderings of my old-as-ass dog.
When people choose to come look at my spotlessly clean house, ready for purchase (if they choose to at all).
My children contracting every possible cold available to mankind.
The freezing rain.
The price of tea in China or anywhere else for that matter.
The number of Oreos I can consume in one sitting (I know you think I should have control over that, but you'd be wrong).
How quickly a brand new gallon of milk can go sour in my refrigerator. As in, "Mommy, is milk supposed to smell funky?" It doesn't smell funky. It's fine. I just bought it. "But . . ." No buts! I say and take a whiff. This milk smells funky.
My young son's inability to pee in the toilet instead of in the vicinity of the toilet.
The near silence in my head as my newest round of characters give me the silent treatment. Which should be pleasant, right, to not constantly be listening to two worlds at once? But the silence is eerie and makes me feel claustrophobic. Plus, it means I'm paying attention to the outside world right now for lack of anything else to do, and the outside world is not always kind.
The lifespan of a spider.
How amazingly loud my clothes washer is during the spin cycle. It is like an actual cyclone is rattling down the hallway every time.
The past.
My daughter growing up.
Lunar cycles.
The incessant wanderings of my old-as-ass dog. Yes, I mentioned that, but she's still wandering in circles around the ottoman as I finish this list. Still wandering.
Why this list, today? Lately, I'm feeling like my skin just isn't enough to hold everything in. I am, undoubtedly, a control freak, but lately it feels like too much is out of my control. So, I decided to make a list.
Turns out, making the list was harder than I thought. At first it was titled, Things I Have No Control Over, but that was a very short list. I had to go back and change the title and really think hard to fill up my list.
Thing is that some of the stuff on the list, doesn't really bother me as much as I thought. And some of it is stuff I could take control over, but am choosing not to. In the end, making the list helped me focus on what is really driving me crazy.
You guessed it, the damn price of tea! I can't believe no one listens to me when I say we should be charging a heck of a lot more for tea leaves. It's ridiculous, really.
What's making you feel tight under the skin? Tell the truth. It's about the tea leaves. Am I right?
Great... now I can add these things to "people who make a right turn on red in front of me during bumper to bumper traffic when I had left the intersection open, even though my light was green, to be sure I could clear it once I entered it!" I'm good on the "vicinity toilet" part though, thanks!
ReplyDeleteControl freaks unite! Oh, and list-makers for that matter! Something I have NO control over is the fact that my 4mos old son refuses to sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time during the day - the control freak in me is about to lose it! Something that I find it impossible to get control of is the incessant laundry that beckons to me daily - I hate it! Sorry things are feeling so tight. Please say "Hi" to that "old-as-ass" dog for me. ;)
ReplyDeleteI struggled with whether or not to add, "I can put my kids to bed, but I cannot make them sleep," to my list. That used to absolutely drive me crazy. My son was also a fan of the 45-minute nap. In the end, I didn't put it on the list because I felt pretty secure in saying that is something I definitely have NO control over - not even a little.
ReplyDeleteDoggie says, Woof. At least, she would if she'd ever stop pacing around the ottoman. Poor old doggie.
I have no control over the weather or the economy. They are both driving me crazy right now! I have little control over trying to make my children's lives easier or happier, but I still try! I do have control over trying to make me feel better.... Like cutting my hair really short or dying it RED! My hair always pays the heavies! It's really short but not RED! YET!!!!
ReplyDelete