Neverending

Photo by Christa Richert

Once, on a night long, long ago, I had a research paper, The Arthurian Quest for the Grail, due the next morning.  I'd struggled for weeks with the writing of the paper.  Something about my thesis just wasn't clicking, but I had a full load of classes and a full-time job and no time to worry about a thesis that wouldn't click.  The night before it was due, I printed it out and began to read it over.  Ugh.

It wasn't that the paper would have failed.  It was probably a solid B.  Nevertheless, I hated it, especially the place in the upper right-hand corner of each page where my name sat mocking me.  Those little letters spelling out my last name laughed at me because I had given up.

Disgusted, I put the paper away and cleaned up the dinner dishes.  Hubster (then boyfriend) and I had a friend in town.  I can't remember what we made to eat, but I do remember we made quite a mess.  It took a while to clean, and while I cleaned I thought about that stupid thesis.  Somewhere from the depths of that murky, nasty dishwater, I found my Grail.  I knew how to write the paper.

Back at the computer, I opened a new document and began writing.  This time, I barely needed my notes.  The words came flying out of someplace deep.  Hubster and friend announced it was time to go to the bar. I shook my head and mumbled something about paper-due-tomorrow-bar-no-go-me.  They shrugged and headed out.  Hours (and hours and hours) later, they returned, swaying slightly and proudly handing me a present.  They'd felt so bad that I hadn't gotten to come out with them, they'd drunk their way through an entire set of Killian's Red beer glasses.  A full set of twelve.  Twelve grails.  My heroes.

They shuffled off to pass out somewhere while I typed away.  By morning, I'd rewritten the entire research paper.  This time, I knew I'd done it right.

I've recently realized that to make my manuscript the best it can be, I've got to do some major revisions.  The kind that would keep me up not just one night, but a month's worth of nights.  I like my manuscript the way it is, but if I'm being honest, I know these revisions will make it better.  How can I resubmit it knowing it isn't in the best shape possible, even if its new shape will be very different from the old one?  I can't.  Not if I don't want my name, which sits in the right-hand corner of each page, to taunt me.

And who knows, maybe Hubster can procure me an entire set of Margarita glasses this time around.  I do love a good Margarita.

Anyone else have a similar story to share?  Something to keep my spirits lifted as I trudge back into revisions?